Encouragement

I debated whether or not to write this post but then I remembered a few things:

        *This is my space to write about my experience as a first time mama
        *I want to remember these struggles for the next time around so I can remember I got through it
        *No one but a few friends and my mom reads this blog anyway ... HAHA!

I have always heard people say that being a mother is the most wonderful amazing and HARDEST thing you will ever do.  And although I completely believed that, I couldn't fully grasp the concept until 6 months ago when my sweet baby boy was born.

Patrick has enriched my life in every aspect.  My love has expanded beyond any capacity I ever thought possible, my marriage has strengthened and most importantly, my FAITH has grown so much during this time.

The things I thought would be the hardest have turned out not to be so hard:
      Staying home all day and not being around adults and having adult conversation all the time
      Waking up a lot during the night to console and feed a crying baby (Patrick has been a good sleeper so I really only had about 6 weeks of that)
       Doing load after load of laundry and always having a messy/unclean home
       Not being able to have time for myself when I want it
 
What's been the hardest part of being a mom was something I had NEVER considered..... Judgement and criticisms from others.  Can I just say.... WOW!!!  I have been so overwhelmed at times at making choices for our baby and our family about small things that I NEVER thought I would think twice about recently.  Why? Because some of the other choices I have made have been "under fire" and not just received odd looks but down right rude and nasty comments.

I breastfeed, cloth diaper, make my own laundry detergent & baby wash/shampoo, make most of Patrick's baby food, purchased a chemical free sunblock (Think Baby brand), and I'm considering not giving Patrick cow's milk once he turns 1 but that is still up for debate, take my child to the church nursery... Let me also add that ALL of these choices have not just been made by me but have also been made and approved by my husband, Stephen.  Let me also add in here that Stephen is AMAZING and has done just as much if not more research on things concerning our baby and new family.  The list I mentioned above are things I didn't think anyone would care about but apparently EVERYONE has an opinion and feels the need to give theirs...even if it's just a look.

I had to email and call a friend of mine the other day because I was just so down about the criticism I've gotten over these choices.  I am not going to list some of the comments I've been given but many of them were directed in a way that it seems like those giving me their opinions wanting me to fail at: breastfeeding, cloth diapering, making baby food, etc.  I was just so shocked when MOTHERS were doing this.  Motherhood is hard enough without us judging one another and bringing one another down.  Shouldn't we be banning together and lift one another up!?  Luckily my mother has been so amazing at giving me support and assuring me that I'm a wonderful mom.  I have also been blessed with some AMAZING friends that have lifted me up and given me so much encouragement.

I sometimes just need to take a step back and remember that I am Patrick's mother and together, with Steve we make the choices we think are best for him and our family and at the end of the day... it's no one else's business.  It's not like I am doing something CRAZY like allowing my child to play in the street at 6 months old or anything like that.  And since being a mother I have really tried to remember to watch what I say to others because although I NEVER intend to hurt or offend anyone else I may do so inadvertently.  I do not think I'm a better mom because of the choices I have made or that anyone else is not as "good" as me.  We are just doing some things differently than others and DIFFERENT is OKAY! Many of the choices we have made are things that may seem small but have allowed me to stay home with Patrick, which was something Stephen and I both really wanted.  Money is tight and there isn't any extra to spare, so little cut backs on things like: baby food*, making laundry detergent and baby soap, breastfeeding and cloth diapering have allowed me to be a stay at home mom.  These choices are not for everyone and that's OKAY!

*Baby food seems cheap enough right? Well I can purchase the same dollar amount of baby food and get 2 meals or I can make my own and get at least 2 weeks worth. That's a big savings for us.  If you're someone who has plenty of money this doesn't matter, but for us it does!

So let's stop bashing one another and giving mean looks and instead lets unite and lift one another up! Let's pray for one another and encourage one another DAILY!